To postpone or not to postpone, that is the question.
Pandemic Wedding Season is upon us and I’m sure there are lots of people who are again considering their options.
Yes, things are opening and maybe it makes sense to. But as we’ve seen before, that doesn’t necessarily mean things will stay open for long.
As someone who decided to go ahead with a less-than-ideal wedding during the pandemic, I thought to share my experiences and why going ahead with less-than-ideal is a pretty good idea still.
But first, I need to acknowledge what I’m sure many couples are saying to themselves: “It’s not fair”. My advice – get over it. The sooner you do, the more you’ll enjoy your special day. No, it’s not fair at all. But it’s reality. We went ahead with it because we realized life is not going to wait for us. The time that passes is gone forever and we can either move on with our lives and get the married life started, or postpone so many things for the party. At the end of the day, our priority was to be married.
So that said, here is what worked in our favour:
SIGNIFICANTLY LESS STRESS
I mean, that should say it all. Fewer guests = fewer logistics to worry about. Our list went from 200 to 20 because of restrictions in place. When they got better, our guest list had room to grow but we capped it to just immediate family and some aunts and uncles, in case things changed.
I’m glad it was this way. With friends and extended family flying in, we’d probably be worried about where they are, what they were doing, if they were having a good time, and making them feel special and part of the wedding. All that extra stress was gone. Yes, we missed all of them. But in the end, I knew they were with us in spirit.
Our wedding ceremony was held at the Ismaili Centre Burnaby, which can hold a lot of people. With 20 to worry about, seating arrangements were no issue, timing was smooth, and parking was a joke. I’m certain our wedding planner found she had more time to herself than usual, and our other vendors also appreciated being able to focus on us more than everyone else.
SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED COSTS
Also a huge factor for feeling less stressed. As you can imagine, 20 guests made up of family members is basically a get-together. I’ve been to bigger birthday parties than this.
Our vendors charged less, we were able to enjoy a private lunch that followed all the protocols, and none of it cost nearly as much as a full wedding. We budgeted around $40K-$50K. Obviously, our costs went way down. More money in our pockets meant we could actually enjoy the some what of a honeymoon we had and spending a little more there.
QUALITY FAMILY TIME SPENT
I know with other weddings I’ve been to, we all want to spend some more time with the bride and groom, and we never really get to. I’m sure the same would have happened here. Like I mentioned before, we would’ve worried our guests didn’t feel special. This way, we didn’t have to. Our families got to spend more time with each other, and we got to spend more time with them too. Our families also live on opposite sides of the country and this was the second time they ever got to meet in person. With that little interaction, it was important for us they got to know each other better every chance they got. I’m glad to have been part of that bonding and I don’t think it would have been the same if my time was divided.
TECHNOLOGY HELPS
We were able to livestream our wedding ceremony and share pictures from our phones easily to try and make the rest of our invited guests feel part of it in some way. No, it’s not the same, but given what the circumstances it was better than nothing. Imagine years ago when live-streaming wasn’t a possibility, and guests who couldn’t make it had to miss out. At least now, everyone was able to watch at their convenience.
YOU CAN THROW A PARTY LATER
That’s our plan. When things get back to normal, we want to be able to celebrate properly with our friends and loved ones who couldn’t make it. Whether that means a formal reception of some sort or informally renting out a restaurant and having dinner, we’re going to do something where we can be with each other in person and not worry about covid. A reception where we have to keep distance and have to go without music and dancing is not a fun reception. So whenever that day comes, we’re going to make sure we celebrate.
If postponing is the path for you, then I hope it goes well. You gotta do what you need for your special day. But consider the benefits of keeping your wedding small.
Note: Masks suck, but we found a solution with clear masks that still showed our faces and smiles. I suggest looking into that!
zaynj.ca 