What I Learned From a Near-Death Experience

I meant to post this about a week or so ago, on the actual anniversary, but forgot, to be honest. It’s been 10 years since I almost died in a car accident.

I was driving with a friend from Toronto to Waterloo to see The Weeknd perform (the early, House of Balloons darkness days). We’re merging onto 401 West from 427 North, and we’re in the far-left lane. My tires skidded on black ice, causing me to lose complete control of the car as it swerved 4 lanes to the far-right (just a bit early of the Dixie Rd exit).

Before I continue, allow me to make one thing clear. The use of the word “miracle” is by no means an overstatement. I’ve reported on several fatal car crashes, including a tragic accident that resulted in 2 deaths on that same highway but way closer to Guelph/Cambridge.

Back to my story – while swerving, the headlights of cars behind us were flashing in our eyes and we were screaming for our lives. Miraculously, none of them drove fast enough or sped up to hit us. We end up t-boning an SUV in that lane and we both end up on the shoulder of the road.

Miraculously, no one was hurt. Not my passenger, nor the driver and passengers of the other car. No one got whiplash, not even as much as a scratch. My radio was still playing, and if I didn’t know better, I’d have thought the car was in good shape to keep driving (It was not once I got out and saw the front completely gone).

Needless to say, I was shook and didn’t drive for a couple of weeks after. But that’s not the point of this blog. The point lies in the moments between swerving and hitting the SUV.

The phrase “your life flashes before your eyes” was kind of true. I really thought “This is it, I’m going to die like this”, immediately followed by, “This can’t be it. I’m not ready, not like this. What the f*** is this?”

In that brief time, which felt a lot longer than it lasted, I had a lot of realizations. I was mostly sad and disappointed that I wasn’t living life for myself as much as I’d have liked to. I was unhappy with how I carried myself, the things I prioritized that weren’t really for me, and other things I’m not going to get into boring details about. The point is, after that moment, and a few weeks later once I gained some confidence back, everything about me changed.

The first lesson I learned, was to commit to being myself each and every day. There is no point in going about being someone I’m not happy being. Easier said than done, and the journey to really know who you are is never-ending, but it starts with asking a few simple questions: Why am I the way I am? What is it I really care about? What can I live without? Do the things I value actually bring any value into my life? What is in my control to change?

The second lesson was to learn that the changes I made for myself impacted others. I needed space from people and a break from my usual routines. The only people who noticed these changes were people who I was around on a regular basis, especially my family. I did what I could to explain how I was feeling and what I was feeling, but going back to lesson 1, I no longer felt the need to apologize for who I was becoming. I had to be 100% honest with myself and others.

The third lesson was taking responsibility for all of my actions. Now that I talked a big game, it meant working hard for what I wanted and not letting general excuses get in the way. It meant forcing myself to exhaust all options available to me. It meant doing better if I knew better. This has built the character of who I am now.

The fourth and final lesson was appreciating the blessing that is waking up every day, with love. I really believe I was given a second chance at life. I’ve spent the last 10 years trying to make each day count and not take a single one for granted. Life is a real gift, and those of us who have the good fortune of taking advantage of that should not waste it on really stupid and petty things. Where we can help others realize the same and uplift them, we should. Life is much better when that joy can be shared.

That’s what my near-death experience taught me. Take what you will from it, because I would never wish for anyone to go through their own only to learn the same things.