Mental Health

I think it’s important, now more than ever, that people pay attention to their mental health and wellbeing. This pandemic has thrown everything into the deep end and really tested us on all levels.

I’m going to be speaking about my own experience, in the hopes that anyone who needs to, will realize how normal it is. It’s not a woe is me story, but just to detail what I’ve been experiencing.

I actually started the year on a pretty positive note, coming off of what felt like a pretty down year. I pinpoint it to being back in a province and city I was trying to leave for the longest time, feeling obligated to do things and be part of activities I just needed a break from. I was in the middle of figuring out moving in with my then fiance starting in February, meaning I’d be able to spend more time in my own home away from everything. In fact, the pandemic helped accelerate and accentuate that good feeling because being stuck at home was fantastic. We were exploring KW a lot more and spending quality time together. We were still working, thankfully, and because of a reduced schedule, I got more breaks during the week so I could keep my mental health in check without feeling overwhelmed.

Fast forward to the summer. The news picked up with the George Floyd protests, BLM, and local Indigenous issues. The political and social divide seemed to be growing wider and wider. This is happening throughout a pandemic and people are feeling the burnout. More things were coming to the forefront all at the same time, and at first, I thought it was a good opportunity to highlight what is going on in the community. But, to my own fault, I stared paying attention to comments on social media.

Here’s the thing – they can be good or bad, but going down the rabbit hole helps no one. Reading awful things people are saying, along with accusations of being “fake news” and “fear-mongering”, or being part of an industry that is negligent to how it portrays people or presents information, that took its toll. It made me second guess myself a lot. Am I doing a good job? Am I doing the right job? Am I misleading people or interpreting information incorrectly? Am I representing people to the best of my ability or making them looking bad, knowingly or unknowingly? It really messed with my head because the last thing I want to do is make things go from bad to worse, especially where it can be avoided. My job is to be objective and balanced, and I was wondering if I was leaning too far to a side that displays bias, or not exploring something deeply enough. There were many times I had the thought of quitting, because why am I putting in time and effort into something that may be misinterpreted by others, or people who just don’t care?

I’d be lying if I said I’m not struggling anymore. I’m still trying to see how I can use my privileged position as a member of the media to tell meaningful, needed stories, and to actually use this platform to help people. At the end of it all, the stories I share are about the community. But do they reflect the community well? Am I telling stories people need to hear? Or am I just picking at low hanging fruit because it’s easy? It’s all caused me a lot of internal anxiety and stress, to the point I wake up on work days and think “why am I even doing this?”.

Again, this isn’t a woe is me story. The point is, we all go through struggles. Everyone feels helpless at some point or another. And that’s ok. Nothing comes easy, and what is helping me now is knowing I’m not alone. Other reporters are burnt out or have it even harder than I do in terms of facing their own self-doubt. Friends and family I’ve been speaking with have shared their own struggles in their respective careers. It just goes to show, none of us have to walk this path alone. It tells me, take everything one day at a time, and slow your roll.

For those of us who are lucky to have a support system, don’t take it for granted. For those who need one, look no further. I’m happy to make myself available as best I can, if not point you in a direction where you might find better help.

It is World Mental Health Day, during a Thanksgiving weekend where it seems like there’s nothing to be thankful for.

But there is. If you’ve made it this far this year, hanging onto hope that things will get better, waking up tired everyday but forcing yourself to go through the grind because you need to, then be thankful that every second is a step closer to getting out of a slump and into a rhythm. The small things in life are what make things count, so see the blessing that’s there.

And most importantly, make sure you take time to take care of yourself.